FADE IN:
INT. TOM'S DUPLEX - DAY
A delicate red lace pantie encircles an ankle protruding
from unkempt sheets.
The sheet slides away as a sleeping body stirs, revealing
a hairy leg.
TOMMY CARPENTER (32) pulls the sheets around his
shoulders. He has the athletic good looks that women
admire and men envy.
DEWITT (O.S.)
Sorry I'm late. Ran into some
construction. Tommy? Your door was
unlocked. ... Hey Tommy! Please
don't tell me you're still asleep.
DeWITT (32), slender, average looks, shakes his head. He
cranes his neck and scowls.
Finding a digital camera on the dresser, DeWitt
photographs the panty around Tom's ankle. FLASH!
He frames another shot. FLASH!
DEWITT
Up and at 'em. We should have been
at the airport an hour ago.
Tommy sits up groggily. FLASH! Tommy raises his fist and
slaps his biceps in an Italian gesture of disrespect.
DEWITT
Wheels up in sixty-eight minutes.
Tommy notices the panty around his ankle, throws it at
DeWitt and stumbles off to the bathroom.
TOMMY
It's alright. I have a fast car.
DEWITT
Be careful on First Street. They
were installing new traffic
enforcement cameras.
TOMMY
On the way to the airport?
DEWITT
At the first intersection.
DeWitt scrolls through the images in the camera's memory.
TOMMY
Damn. They nailed me with one of
those last week, going the other
way. Now I have to dodge cameras
either way I turn.
DEWITT
(whistles silently)
Damn, Tommy. Are those real?
Tommy cranes his neck through the doorway, grins.
TOMMY
That's Isabel. All natural.
DEWITT
Red lace looks a damn sight better
on her than you. But how'd you
wind up wearing them? Is there
something I should know, if we're
going to room together for a week?
Tommy bustles into the room clutching toiletries, which
he stows in a gym bag.
TOMMY
She bet me I couldn't undress her
with my toes, blindfolded.
DEWITT
You obviously succeeded.
TOMMY
Her bra was the only challenge.
You can't imagine how long my toes
searched for a clasp in front.
DEWITT
Exactly what did you bet?
(flips to new shot)
Never mind, I get the picture.
DeWitt draws a slow breath, clearly impressed, tosses the
camera to Tommy.
DEWITT
You are the man.
TOMMY
This time tomorrow, we will be in
Thailand, the land of smiles,
where you, sir, will be the man,
surrounded by the sexiest, most
beautiful girls in all of Asia.
Each one eager to please.
DEWITT
I'm getting married in a month;
just along for the new year's
festival. And to keep you out of
trouble, if I can. Or give you an
alibi for Rebecca, if I can't.
TOMMY
Sure.
DEWITT
I mean it. I'm not letting you get
me into any trouble.
TOMMY
If you haven't rethought that
strategy about five minutes after
we land, I may start to worry
about rooming with you.
Tommy tosses DeWitt one bag, picks up another.
TOMMY
Of course, there's always the
katoey bars, if you're looking for
that little something extra. I
hear they're almost as pretty as
girls.
DEWITT
"Almost" doesn't cut it.
EXT. TOMMY'S DUPLEX - MORNING
Tommy and DeWitt load baggage into the trunk of a
Mitsubishi Evolution MR4.
DEWITT
Got your passport?
Tommy slaps the side pocket of one of the cases.
TOMMY
Passport, tickets, traveller's
checks, cash. We're all set for
your last adventure as a free man.
He slams the hatch on the trunk.
INT./EXT. CITY STREETS - MITSUBISHI - DAY
The Evo tears out of the driveway.
DeWitt is pressed against the door as Tommy slides
through a corner, SCREECHES to a halt at a stop sign.
TOMMY
Forty-eight minutes. Twenty to the
airport, ten to park, twenty for
check-in.
Tommy pops the clutch, whips through a left turn.
DEWITT
That's fifty, not forty-eight.
TOMMY
They'll be at least two minutes
late. Trust me.
DEWITT
The light's yellow.
TOMMY
I can make it.
DEWITT
Traffic cams!
The EVO SCREECHES to a halt, laying skid marks on the
pavement.
The Evo rocks forward on its suspension, barely
millimeters behind the white line on the pavement.
The traffic cams stare impassively.
Tommy nods in satisfaction, shifts to neutral. A van
whips around from behind, speeds past.
CRASH! A rusty Volvo 850 Estate Wagon slams into the back
of the Evo, knocking it into the intersection.
AIR BAGS inflate with muffled BANGS.
The traffic cam strobes flash repeatedly.
A car from the left, swerves to avoid the Evo, clips its
tail, sending it spinning into the opposite lane.
An oncoming car T-bones the Evo.
The traffic cams record everything in a series of stills.
Steam rises from under the Evo's hood.
The air bags deflate.
TOMMY
Are you alright?
DEWITT
I think so. Just a little shaken.
TOMMY
(digs into console)
I'll give these guys my insurance
info and we'll flag down a taxi or
a good Samaritan. We lose a few
minutes, but we'll make it up
because we won't need to park.
EXT. ACCIDENT SITE - DAY
They wrestle with the crumpled doors and climb out onto
an intersection littered with automotive trim.
A confused elderly lady stares from the Volvo.
People emerge from their damaged vehicles, shaking their
heads. Tommy approaches a DRIVER.
DRIVER
Are you alright?
TOMMY
Here's my insurance and business
cards. If you don't mind, we have
thirty minutes to catch a flight.
I'll call a tow truck, but we need
to leave immediately.
DRIVER
Fine with me. Go. It was all the
Volvo's fault anyway.
TOMMY
You, sir, are a lifesaver.
Tommy approaches DeWitt, trying to open the crushed trunk
hatch, as a police car pulls into the intersection.
TOMMY
We're in luck. It's Becky's father
and brother. They can run sirens,
get us to the airport in no time.
The patrol car doors swing open.
DIMITRI XENOS (45), six-foot-six, three-hundred pounds,
seemingly angry with the world, climbs out, shoves a
nightstick into a ring on his belt.
ALEX XENOS (26), five-foot-eight, built like a pit bull
terrier, accompanies him.
DEWITT
We need the jaws of life to get
this trunk open.
DeWitt makes a frantic call on his cell phone.
Tommy grimaces in frustration, forces a smile and turns
to the approaching officers, his hand extended to shake.
TOMMY
Sergeant Xenos! Officer Xenos! I'm
so glad you're here. We only have
a half hour to get to the airport.
Dimitri gives Tommy a cold, hard stare.
DIMITRI
I can't let you leave the scene of
a personal injury accident.
TOMMY
Nobody was injured. Our plane ...
Dimitri cuts him short with an icy glare.
DIMITRI
Are you being belligerent?
TOMMY
Dimitri. Sergeant Xenos. It's me,
Tommy. Can you cut me some slack?
DIMITRI
Seems Mr. Carpenter is interfering
with a police investigation.
ALEX
Belligerent and uncooperative.
Tommy turns his head toward Alex.
On the next block, a statuesque blonde in skin-tight
jeans and a halter top that barely covers her
dramatically enhanced bosom walks out of Island Paradise,
a gentleman's club.
Tommy looks back self-consciously.
Dimitri follows his gaze, scowls.
DIMITRI
Put him in cuffs. We'll test him
for drugs and alcohol, after we
talk to the other witnesses.
ALEX
But I didn't do anything. Nobody
was hurt. See for yourself.
Alex shackles Tom's wrists behind his back.
DIMITRI
Maybe you're the type of fool who
never knows what he does or who he
hurts by it.
Tommy frowns, shakes his head, puzzled.
TOMMY
Wait. You're not talking about
here and now. You think I've done
something to hurt Becky.
DIMITRI
What do you think?
TOMMY
She knows we're going to Thailand.
I even invited her to come along.
DIMITRI
I'll say this once. Any dumb thing
you say will be used against you.
Now put a lid on it.
Dimitri and Alex stalk off to talk to the other drivers.
DeWitt saunters over, slapping his palm with the phone.
DEWITT
Every flight to Thailand is booked
solid with waiting lists until
after the Songkran festival.
TOMMY
I'll make it up to you.
DEWITT
If I had been on time, we would
have gotten an earlier start and
this wouldn't have happened.
TOMMY
This wasn't your fault. We'd be on
our way if it wasn't for that old
biddy in the Volvo.
Their attention is drawn to a perky blond entering the
club in a short sundress that flutters in the breeze .
TOMMY
If we can't get to Thailand, let's
check out the new club tonight. We
can walk there from my place,
which is good, considering the
condition of my car.
DEWITT
It's a nice thought, but ...
TOMMY
Hey! Who's going to look after
you, if I don't?
Tommy frowns at Dimitri and Alex.
TOMMY
Dimitri is sure acting strangely.
Do me a favor. Call Becky.
DEWITT
Sure. What's her number?
TOMMY
Use my phone. Speed dial one.
DeWitt takes the phone from Tommy's belt case, dials.
A tall Japanese girl climbs from a taxi, enters the club.
DEWITT
I suppose one drink won't hurt.
(frowns)
She's not answering.
TOMMY
That's not good.
DEWITT
You think she knows about Isabel?
TOMMY
Isabel?
DEWITT
Red lace panties?
TOMMY
(scowls dismissively)
That was just one night.
DeWitt ends the call.
DEWITT
Something's up. And she's not
answering.
INT. TOMMY'S DUPLEX - NIGHT
Tommy and DeWitt drag crumpled luggage held together with
duct tape inside as a taxi pulls away.
TOMMY
You want a beer?
DEWITT
After ten hours in police custody?
I would kill for a cold beer.
Tommy goes to the refrigerator. Stops dead in his tracks.
TOMMY
The perfect end to a wretched day.
On the breakfast counter lies a traffic citation
displaying a traffic cam picture of Tommy at the wheel of
the Evo. In the passenger seat, a female passenger pulls
a T-shirt over her head, obviously undressing.
A gold chain with a heart-shaped pendant and Isabel's red
panties are artfully positioned on top of the citation.
DeWitt comes in, examines the citation.
DEWITT
That's not Becky. ... Or Isabel.
TOMMY
Daphne. I would never have gotten
the ticket if she hadn't
distracted me.
DEWITT
Your honor, my client was unable
to stop due to diminished capacity
caused by his passenger's
unrestrained exhibitionism. Move
to enter Daphne into evidence.
(Groucho impression)
Counselor, I wouldn't mind
entering Daphne myself. Case
dismissed while I consider
evidentiary procedures.
Daphne is remanded into custody of
the court.
TOMMY
Those damned traffic cameras are
complicating my life.
DEWITT
Do you want me to leave, so you
can try to fix things with Becky?
TOMMY
Absolutely not. It's been a lousy
day, but we're going to have some
fun tonight.
DEWITT
What about Becky?
TOMMY
She'll come back. They always do.
INT. ISLAND PARADISE GENTLEMEN'S CLUB - EVENING
Tommy and DeWitt enter and look around. A waitress in a
sarong passes with a tray of drinks.
Attractive dancers in bikinis and platform heels perform
on stage for a yuppie crowd.
TOMMY
Bikini club. Alcohol, but no
topless dancers.
DEWITT
Want to go somewhere else?
TOMMY
Bikini clubs always have the
prettiest girls. And we're in
luck. The deejay hasn't gone deaf
yet. Most of these idiots crank up
the music until you can't hear
yourself think.
Tommy greets two friends at the bar: ERIC (35), muscular,
tanned, crew-cut; and Lyle (45) bearded, bald, horn
rimmed glasses, beer belly, thick Australian accent.
Eric wraps an affectionate arm around Tommy's shoulder.
ERIC
Bartender! Heineken all around,
and shots.
Something special for my good
friend Tommy, who just scored with
the celestial Isabel.
Tommy flashes Eric a suspicious look.
TOMMY
Where did you hear that?
ERIC
Dude, it's all over Facebook and
MySpace. No pictures, though.
TOMMY
That explains a lot of things.
LYLE
Tell us you have video, pictures,
a charcoal sketch, anything for
your faithful fans who follow your
exploits on the Internet.
ERIC
Because their own lives are so
pathetically uneventful.
The BARTENDER uncaps four bottles of Heineken.
BARTENDER
What's your poison?
Tommy purses his lips, shakes his head in resignation.
TOMMY
It's been a tequila sort of day.
ERIC
Make them doubles.
Tommy corrals CINDY and PHOEBE, two statuesque dancers.
TOMMY
Girls, this is my good friend,
DeWitt. DeWitt, Say hello to ...
CINDY
I'm Cindy and this is Phoebe.
TOMMY
You say that so seductively.
With a little prod, the girls sidle up to DeWitt.
TOMMY
Drinks for Cindy and Phoebe.
CINDY
Kettle One Cosmopolitan.
PHOEBE
Cielo Blue Lagoon.
The Bartender beckons Tommy closer.
BARTENDER
Lady's drinks are double price and
premium selections are extra.
TOMMY
We wouldn't want it any other way.
The bartender nods and grabs a cocktail shaker.
Tommy takes two fifty-dollar bills from his wallet and
tucks them into Cindy's and Phoebe's tops.
TOMMY
Poor DeWitt is heartbroken. We
were supposed to go to Thailand
today, but things didn't work out.
I need the two of you to try to
soothe his spirits.
The Bartender sets two cocktails on the bar.
Tommy lays a twenty on the counter.
The Bartender arches a disdainful eyebrow.
Tommy cocks his head, lays down a second twenty.
The Bartender scoops the cash, heads for the register.
Tommy hands the drinks to Cindy and Phoebe.
TOMMY
Your mission is to make DeWitt
glad we missed that plane.
As Cindy and Phoebe lead DeWitt to a table, Tommy rubs
lime and sprinkles salt on the web of his thumb.
He toasts Eric and Lyle and downs the tequila.
ERIC
So what happened?
TOMMY
Don't ask me. I didn't post
anything on Facebook or MySpace.
ERIC
I mean, what happened to Thailand?
Tommy shakes his head, takes a swig of beer.
TOMMY
We were running late. I sped up to
make a light. DeWitt shouts,
"Traffic cam!" I skid to a stop.
Van behind me whips around, zooms
though the light, no problem. But
the lady behind him slams into my
rear end and knocks me into cross
traffic. Totals the Evo.
LYLE
Another inglorious victim of the
international traffic enforcement
camera conspiracy.
TOMMY
Didn't know it was a conspiracy.
ERIC
How long have you been driving?
TOMMY
Since high school. Sophomore year.
ERIC
Have you ever seen anybody drive
through a red light?
Tommy frowns in contemplation, shakes his head.
TOMMY
Actually, I've never even seen an
ambulance run a red light.
ERIC
Nobody does, except bus drivers
carrying forty passengers who
aren't wearing seat belts and
bicyclists. People run yellow
lights, not reds. A few miss by
half a second. Big deal.
LYLE
Only a complete idiot would plough
through a red light. Granted,
there are a few on the road, but
the police don't need millions of
dollars worth of high-tech
equipment to catch them.
TOMMY
So why do we have traffic cams?
LYLE
To cause traffic accidents, like
yours today. Do you have any idea
how many accidents these
instruments of evil cause? We're
not talking five or ten-percent
bumps or any random variations or
seasonal fluctuations. No, sir! On
average, according to the biggest
study to date, one-hundred-sixty
percent, way more than double.
ERIC
We're going to need more beers.
LYLE
The bastards fully expect to spend
eternity in hell, along with
tobacco executives, salesmen who
call cell phones and deejays who
talk over the music, so they're
out to snag every penny they can,
'cause if you're doomed to
eternity with your privates frozen
in a block of ice and buzzards
pecking away at your liver, you
gotta to grab all the gusto you
can while you can.
TOMMY
Hard to argue with that logic.
LYLE
These sleazy recidivist miscreants
go to the mayor. We know you have
no money for police or schools and
you sure as dickens have no money
for fancy equipment to enforce
laws nobody cares about, so we'll
take care of everything, for a
price. Give us a piece of the
action and we'll make you rich.
Lyle finishes off his beer, becomes more animated.
LYLE
Only problem, nobody much breaks
the law. But that's easy to fix.
Several patrons and dancers watch in amusement.
LYLE
Let's say the engineers decided
years ago a signal must have a
yellow light no shorter than three
point-six seconds. But they set
the yellow for six seconds, just
to be safe. And that's the key,
"Just to be safe."
A waitress brings him a shot and indicates it was bought
by a bystander. Lyle toasts the group and downs it.
LYLE
Now everybody's used to six-second
yellows. But these sleazy bastards
set the interval to three-point
six seconds and people can't make
the light anymore. More cars wind
up in the intersection when the
light changes. More accidents.
The onlookers GRUNT and CHUCKLE.
LYLE
Law-abiding citizens start getting
tickets. So they change their
driving habits. They brake
abruptly and stop further back.
Even more tickets, more accidents.
TOMMY
But why would anybody want to
cause more accidents?
LYLE
To get the cities to buy more
cameras. It's a vicious cycle.
Tommy shakes his head and laughs; turns to Eric.
TOMMY
Are you part of this conspiracy
theory thing?
ERIC
I think it's possible to adopt
truly moronic public policies
without a covert body of
international conspirators.
(long thoughtful sip)
But the manufacturers and cities
are exploiting the situation
unfairly and unjustly.
TOMMY
Is this some sort of alternate
conspiracy theory?
ERIC
What if everything we do was put
under a microscope? And they
calculated deviations to three
decimal places with zero tolerance
for even minor offense?
A sexy dancer tries to coax Tommy to the table area.
TOMMY
No thanks, I have a girlfriend.
She shrugs, drifts away.
LYLE
Ordinary people would find
themselves paying thousands of
dollars in fines every week, even
spending nights in the hoosegow.
ERIC
We'd all be a nervous wrecks,
worried our slightest mistakes
would cost us a week's wages.
LYLE
There'd be rioting in the streets.
ERIC
Does it really matter if some fool
tries to sneak through a yellow
light and it turns red?
TOMMY
Depends. It might.
ERIC
Or it might not. That's why we
entrust enforcement to humans with
judgement, compassion and common
sense, not computers with cameras.
BAMBI and CANDI, identical twins, interlock elbows with
Tommy, coo into his ears seductively.
BAMBI
Hello, handsome.
CANDI
Do you have any fantasies about
twin sisters?
BAMBI
They could come true.
Tommy shakes his head in refusal.
TOMMY
I am flattered, but I have a
girlfriend who means the world to
me and I wouldn't want to do
anything that might upset her.
BECKY (O.S.)
You must have seen my reflection
in the mirror.
TOMMY
(without turning)
It's my girlfriend. Play along. We
might still get out of this alive.
Bambi and Candi pull away, but Tommy wraps his arms
around their waists, drawing them closer.
TOMMY
Becky? Let me guess, one of your
gun-toting psycho-cop brothers saw
us come in while he just happened
to be on the phone with you.
Holding Bambi and Candi close, he turns to face BECKY
XENOS (24). Her Mediterranean features are strong, almost
mannish, but her body exudes sexuality and sensuality,
stylishly emphasized by the briefest whisper of a
cocktail dress worn without makeup, jewelry or underwear.
BECKY
I see you've met some new friends.
TOMMY
Nobody to compare with you. Wow!
You look fantastic.
He releases the dancers; makes a circling motion with his
index finger.
Becky obliges with a catwalk pirouette.
BECKY
You like it?
TOMMY
What's not to like? But it needs
something.
He pulls the heart pendant necklace from his pocket and
opens the clasp. Becky holds up a hand in restraint.
BECKY
First you must earn the right to
offer me presents.
TOMMY
I've already earned that right, a
thousand times over.
BECKY
You need to earn it again. I
wasn't snooping. I only went over
to feed your tropical fish.
Tommy grimaces, snaps his fingers in self-reproach.
TOMMY
I knew I'd forget the fish.
BECKY
I saw the envelope. I thought my
dad might be able to do fix it or
something. Good thing, I opened it
or I'd never hear the end of it.
TOMMY
There's an explanation ...
BECKY
Spare me. I am tired of your self
centered, immature behavior. You
would never treat DeWitt the way
you treat me.
TOMMY
You can't compare yourself to
DeWitt.
BECKY
Bro's before ho's? What does that
make me? If we're to move forward,
we need to become friends.
TOMMY
We're friends already, much more
than friends.
BECKY
Just friends. No more, no less. I
need to know what I feel for you
is not just some pathetic physical
dependence.
TOMMY
Best friends forever?
Tommy tries to embrace Becky, but she pushes him away.
BECKY
We need time and space. Time to
get to know each other as friends
and distance to look at our
relationship objectively.
TOMMY
Space?
BECKY
The problem is I love you, even
when you're a jerk. I hate myself
for it, but my heart skips beats.
I get flushed and flustered. I
can't think straight.
TOMMY
That's a good thing, isn't it?
BECKY
Starting today, I'm your new best
friend and constant companion. The
only way I can decide if you're
really the one is if I stick
close, but keep distant.
TOMMY
Close, but distant.
BECKY
Think of me as your bro' ...
unless you'd rather I leave.
TOMMY
No! I want you to stay.
Becky extends her hand, shakes his vigorously.
BECKY
Good. I'm moving in until this is
over. You get the sofa.
Bambi and Candi suppress smirks.
TOMMY
I think I'm ready for a drink.
Ladies?
BAMBI
I'll have a Malibu piña colada.
CANDI
The same.
BECKY
And I'll have the same.
TOMMY
You can't have the same.
BECKY
Why not?
TOMMY
They mix special drinks for the
dancers. They cost twice as much
and have almost no alcohol.
BECKY
Doesn't sound very special. I'll
have two regular piña coladas.
Tommy shrugs and nods to the bartender.
TOMMY
Are you thirsty or just in a hurry
to get snockered?
BECKY
I'm in a hurry for you to start
treating me as nicely as you treat
everybody else. Since you paid two
girls to dance for DeWitt, you can
pay the twins to dance for me. You
may watch from a distance.
DEWITT
Did I hear my name?
Becky surprises DeWitt with an enthusiastic hug and kiss
as Tommy politely hands Bambi and Candi some money.
DEWITT
What did I do to deserve this?
BECKY
Nice guys get hugs. Sorry about
Thailand.
DEWITT
It's alright. I was only going for
the festival. We were both going
for the festival.
Tommy distributes the drinks, signals for a beer for
DeWitt.
Becky toasts the group with one of her two piña coladas
and heads for the tables.
BECKY
Girls, follow me.
DeWitt watches with a puzzled, amused expression, as
Bambi and Candi follow Becky to a table.
TOMMY
Jealous girlfriend passive
aggressive tactic thirty-seven-B.
She dresses up like a walking wet
dream and tells me I'm not getting
any because I've been a bad boy.
DEWITT
Maybe you should try a little
harder to keep her.
TOMMY
She'll cool off in a day or two.
Tommy's CELL PHONE CHIRPS. He grins at a text message.
TOMMY
A booty call from Isabel.
DeWitt grabs the phone, shakes it at Tommy in reproach.
DEWITT
Don't even think about replying.
You've already got two strikes
with Becky.
TOMMY
But it's Isabel!
Lyle grabs the phone.
LYLE
Just let me feel what it's like to
get a booty call from a girl who's
been on Playboy TV a couple times.
(shivers all over)
Mmmm-mmmm. That is nice.
Tommy grabs for it but Lyle holds the phone out of reach.
TOMMY
Don't be a jerk. Becky will wonder
why my phone's so fascinating.
LYLE
But it is fascinating.
The PHONE CHIRPS. Lyle studies the screen.
LYLE
Another message from Isabel. She
is hot to go and won't take "no."
Lyle punches some characters into the keyboard.
TOMMY
Give me that.
LYLE
I'll just let her know you're
bringing a friend.
TOMMY
No wonder you don't get the girls.
The PHONE CHIRPS again. Lyle and Eric shield the phone
from Tommy as they smirk at the message.
LYLE
You dog. I'm forwarding this to my
phone for future reference.
ERIC
Gotta admit, your reality beats
the hell out of my fantasies.
LYLE
This is too good for you to even
consider passing up. Go now. We'll
make an excuse for you with Becky.
ERIC
The president called. Top secret
mission. Urgent. Hush-hush.
DEWITT
Are you out of your minds? Isabel
is just playing games. She dates
pro ballplayers and investment
bankers who drive Lamborghinis and
Ferraris and shop at Tiffany.
She's out of your league.
TOMMY
You're saying Becky is minor
league?
DEWITT
Becky is down-to-earth, the best
girlfriend anybody could hope to
find. Someday, she'll make some
lucky guy an ideal wife and
mother. Isabel is one night of
wild abandon.
LYLE
Two nights and counting. You'll
never score a third time if you
don't go two for two.
ERIC
If Becky wants to play this
bullshit just friends game, she's
got to take the good with the bad.
LYLE
You're just friends, so you get a
free pass to play the field.
DEWITT
But Becky is moving in. She'll be
all over your game like paparazzi
on a drunken heiress.
TOMMY
Not tonight. Becky's a
lightweight. One drink makes her
drowsy. Two piña coladas, and
she'll sleep like a baby until
morning, guaranteed.
ERIC
Even if you snake one past Becky,
it sounds like Isabel likes to
kiss and blog.
TOMMY
I don't think so. It was probably
one of Becky's brothers. They're
all cops, all work this side of
town and all dislike me.
DEWITT
And her father just loves you.
That's why he locked us up for ten
hours so we'd miss our plane.
LYLE
You just have to wait until Becky
falls asleep, keep a low profile
and avoid any police cars.
Tommy keys in a response on his cell phone.
TOMMY
Except Isabel won't meet at some
no-tell motel for a discrete
assignation. She'll want dinner at
a top restaurant, followed by
dancing at an after-hours club.
Becky slugs Tommy on his arm as he hits the send button.
BECKY
How's my buddy doing? Enjoying
your night out with the guys?
TOMMY
Actually, I thought I would make
an early night of it.
BECKY
Great! Let's order in pizza and
watch Hong Kong action films.
TOMMY
You don't eat cheese because
you're always watching your waist
and you never have patience for
movies with subtitles.
BECKY
Stop thinking of me as a babe.
Until I say otherwise, I'm just
one of the guys. But if you touch
me, I'll tell everyone you're gay.
Becky takes car keys from her handbag.
BECKY
Why don't we order a pizza for
pick-up? We'll stop by the video
store on the way. Since you car's
in the shop, I'll drive.
TOMMY
Are you alright to drive?
BECKY
Sober as a vicar. I swapped drinks
with the twins. You were right. No
alcohol at all, even though they
charge extra for Malibu rum. |
